Hey,
As you might be aware, I haven't blogged since May last year (aside from a guest post I did in August), which wasn't intentional- the longer it's gone on, the harder it's been to get back into it.
But here I am now... You see the thing is, I let my anxiety spiral out of control, it got to the point where it affected every aspect of my life, again. I spent most of last year silently struggling with it, telling myself it would get better. Other times considering how much better off everyone would be without me.
Of course it wouldn't just 'get better' on its own, which is why in December, I finally admitted to myself that I needed help & I went to the doctors. I was told to self refer for CBT. I put it off. Why?!
On January 1st, determined to make this year the year I really focus on my health, I went online & completed the self-referral. I'm still waiting for correspondence, but in the mean time, I'm practicing self help & surrounding myself with positivity.
*Note to self: stop preaching to other people about how amazing mindfulness is, without making it a priority in your own life*
Whilst blogging is a wonderful way of expressing yourself & getting it off your chest, it can also be pretty daunting- you open yourself up to literally anyone on the internet. Your content is out there for the whole world to judge you. I've always cared too much what people think, but I'm working on changing that. It sounds lame, but I'm working on a lot right now.
I had a bit of a wake up call regarding people's opinions, toward the end of last year- a rubbish situation consumed me too much. I had nightmares about it. Sometimes my anxiety was so bad, I'd feel physically sick.
Then one judgment that was made, was based on fiction- it made me realise that I can't be in control of what other people think of me: nothing I could have done, would have prevented that opinion. People's opinions are theirs, they're not yours to worry about, & certainly not to make yourself ill over!
It also taught me to try to be less judgemental. We're all guilty, but remember, everyone's fighting their own battles.
As well as worrying what people would think of my content/me, I put too much pressure on myself. I was looking at all these professional bloggers: their schedules, their professional layouts, logos etc... and I got put off.
I started this blog as a hobby and to help other people, but in true Lucy style, I put too much pressure on myself... and then I caved,I gave up.
I'm a different type of blogger, I have multiple chronic illnesses. I'll never be able to stick to a strict schedule, I never know when I'll need help taking a drink, or getting off the toilet; it's impossible. But the fact is, the type of audience interested in my blog, will generally understand that.
I've had time to reflect, and now, hopefully, this is me back, doing what I love, because it makes me feel good and it helps other people.
My self worth is currently on the floor & has been for quite some time, but when I see people reading my blog and when I see people relating to what I post, and messaging me thanking me; I can't even describe the feeling- it's amazing...
It makes me feel like I'm actually achieving something. It's like therapy. It helps me.
Helping you, helps me.
Happy New Year,
Lots of love,
& well wishes,
Lucy x
As you might be aware, I haven't blogged since May last year (aside from a guest post I did in August), which wasn't intentional- the longer it's gone on, the harder it's been to get back into it.
 |
| Scope guest post |
But here I am now... You see the thing is, I let my anxiety spiral out of control, it got to the point where it affected every aspect of my life, again. I spent most of last year silently struggling with it, telling myself it would get better. Other times considering
Of course it wouldn't just 'get better' on its own, which is why in December, I finally admitted to myself that I needed help & I went to the doctors. I was told to self refer for CBT. I put it off. Why?!
On January 1st, determined to make this year the year I really focus on my health, I went online & completed the self-referral. I'm still waiting for correspondence, but in the mean time, I'm practicing self help & surrounding myself with positivity.
*Note to self: stop preaching to other people about how amazing mindfulness is, without making it a priority in your own life*
Whilst blogging is a wonderful way of expressing yourself & getting it off your chest, it can also be pretty daunting- you open yourself up to literally anyone on the internet. Your content is out there for the whole world to judge you. I've always cared too much what people think, but I'm working on changing that. It sounds lame, but I'm working on a lot right now.
I had a bit of a wake up call regarding people's opinions, toward the end of last year- a rubbish situation consumed me too much. I had nightmares about it. Sometimes my anxiety was so bad, I'd feel physically sick.
Then one judgment that was made, was based on fiction- it made me realise that I can't be in control of what other people think of me: nothing I could have done, would have prevented that opinion. People's opinions are theirs, they're not yours to worry about, & certainly not to make yourself ill over!
It also taught me to try to be less judgemental. We're all guilty, but remember, everyone's fighting their own battles.
As well as worrying what people would think of my content/me, I put too much pressure on myself. I was looking at all these professional bloggers: their schedules, their professional layouts, logos etc... and I got put off.
I started this blog as a hobby and to help other people, but in true Lucy style, I put too much pressure on myself... and then I caved,
I'm a different type of blogger, I have multiple chronic illnesses. I'll never be able to stick to a strict schedule, I never know when I'll need help taking a drink, or getting off the toilet; it's impossible. But the fact is, the type of audience interested in my blog, will generally understand that.
I've had time to reflect, and now, hopefully, this is me back, doing what I love, because it makes me feel good and it helps other people.
My self worth is currently on the floor & has been for quite some time, but when I see people reading my blog and when I see people relating to what I post, and messaging me thanking me; I can't even describe the feeling- it's amazing...
It makes me feel like I'm actually achieving something. It's like therapy. It helps me.
Helping you, helps me.
Happy New Year,
Lots of love,
& well wishes,
Lucy x
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